Written by Adrian Davies

Waiting for love

When you meet new people there’s always the time when the questions come: “Are you married?” and “Do you have kids?” often get asked. So when I answer “Yes, I’m married and I have three daughters”. I always get the same reply: “That’ll cost you when they get married!” That maybe the case, so any donations will be gratefully received! But why do we always look at the cost rather than thinking “let’s hope they find great husbands”. It’s something that I ponder. Surely them finding the right partner and having a strong marriage should be the important thing, not the cost of the wedding.

If we’re honest, relationships can be a bit of a minefield for us as adults, so spare a thought for our young people. When I was at school (not all that long ago!) there was not much pressure to be in a relationship, let alone for it to be a sexual one.
Unfortunately things have changed. The pressure on our young people has increased, especially where relationships are involved. The need to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to give them identity, and then the pressure for that relationship to be sexual, has increased greatly.

Our young people are growing up in a time when there are so many voices bombarding them with sex. Friends, music, films, TV, magazines and adverts are full of it. What’s worse is that the message they show about sex is one without consequences. The truth is that relationships and sex do have consequences. If sex didn’t, the human race would die out! Babies are just one consequence.
Sadly there are many more which are not so great: teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), emotional hurts and abortions are at epidemic levels in the youth of our country.

So, with all this facing our young people, will they get to the place where they can have a settled marriage, or will they end up scarred, hurt and struggling in the relationships they have?

Surely we need to act and help our young people sort through the voices that they’re hearing. That’s where Lovewise comes in.

Lovewise is a Christian charity that was founded by 3 doctors from Newcastle in 2003, who saw what was happening to our young people and had to act. So they started writing presentations for schools that address this issue from a different perspective, one that is founded in the Bible.

With all the voices telling the youth of today that it’s ok to have sex, Lovewise is saying it’s time to wait – wait for the right person, the right time of life, the right relationship and marriage before having sex – to make a positive choice for themselves which will help them stay safe, as waiting will also protect them from STIs and emotional hurt. It will help to secure their future, as making this choice will help them have a settled marriage when the time comes.

This is the right message for our young people whether they believe in God and the Bible or not. So the good news is that there are now 12 Lovewise teams around the country getting this message out to young people in the schools and youth groups. Even better than that, there is now a Lovewise team operating in Suffolk encouraging teenagers to make this choice for themselves.

Also, Lovewise has written a presentation to help parents talk to their children about these issues. It helps parents pass on their values and can be used on most home computers.

If you’re interested and want to find out more, contact Adrian Davies on Suffolk@lovewise.org.uk or phone 01449 774000.